


and it creeps on in

by orphan_account



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned Rika (Mystic Messenger), Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 11:54:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18072947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jihyun is very not okay and Jumin will always be there for him.





	and it creeps on in

**Author's Note:**

> so i was listening to taxi by the maine and i got this idea which is basically the same premise of the fic i posted yesterday but the lyrics were too good to not use as a title right now so i wrote this and now i'm posting it. enjoy.

Jihyun is, by all definitions of the word, very not okay.

 

Jumin is in the shower, if the sound of running water is any indication, and he’s laying in their bed, Elizabeth the 3rd pressed up against his arm. It’s taking every part of him not to start crying, not to start panicking, not to start doing _anything._

 

He’s functioning on about two hours of sleep, since he was up until almost four, listening to Jumin sleep beside him and trying to calm himself down, and he just woke up a few minutes ago. He doesn’t know why he’s so anxious – he has been for a few days, and it’s the worst he’s felt in almost a year. It should be unsurprising that Rika haunted his already ruined sleep, but it’s the first time he’s dreamed about her in months and it’s _too much._

 

He’s crying before he realizes it, and he pulls the blanket further over him and buries his face into the pillow. His breathing is shallow and he feels like he’s going to die, he’s going to suffocate and die, he’s-

 

Elizabeth meows and leaves his side, and he would be offended if he could _breathe,_ but he can’t and he’s just so tired. The water from the shower is off, and the cat is at Jumin’s feet, but Jihyun doesn’t realize. He can’t focus on anything except the fact that he’s going to die there, and it just makes him cry harder.

 

He’s gasping for breath, choking on his sobs and he briefly feels the bed dip beside him but it just makes him bury his face deeper into the pillow. He knows it’s Jumin before he even speaks, and Jihyun is terrifed. He’s terrified to love, but he loves Jumin anyway and now he’s choking on his own fear of ruining everything too.

 

“Jihyun.”

 

Jumin’s voice is soft – it always is when Jihyun is upset – and he chokes out another sob as a reply. Jumin is too kind to him, and he’s afraid he doesn’t deserve it. He’s afraid of everything these days, apparently. Especially when it relates to Jumin.

 

“Can I touch you?”

 

Jihyun forces himself to nod, and in between his gasps for air, he realizes just how hard he’s crying. He hasn’t cried so much in ages, and he feels bad for Jumin, who places a hand on the small of his back and starts tracing circles with his fingers. It’s comforting, and Jihyun forces enough air into his lungs to gasp out, “I’m sorry.”

 

Jumin shifts closer to him, pressing himself against Jihyun’s back, and he can feel him shake his head. He doesn’t say anything, but he continues rubbing circles on Jihyun’s back, breathng deeply against him. He knows the trick – Jumin has used it countless times to calm him down, but it works every time. He can feel his breathing starting to even out, and he keeps forcing air into his lungs through gasps.

 

It takes what feels like forever for him to stop panicking. Jumin rubs his back and helps him breathe for what he’s sure was hours, but what was most likely only a few minutes. His breathing does calm down, eventually, and then his brain has tired itself out. He doesn’t feel like he’s going to die anymore, but everything else is still crowding around his head and he can't stop crying.

 

“You did nothing wrong, Jihyun.”

 

Jihyun knows that Jumin is talking about what he said before, and through tears, he whispers, “But – but I don’t deserve you.”

 

Jumin sucks in a breath, and says, “Jihyun-”

 

“I don’t.”

 

His hyperventilating and panicking is gone, but his breath is still shuddering as he cries. It’s so tiring, and he just wants to go back to sleep and never dream of Rika again.

 

“I love you.” Jumin sounds so sincere and sentimental that it catches him off guard, and his crying abruptly slows down for a second.

 

“I just want to be okay,” Jihyun mumbles.

 

“I know.” Jumin is whispering, and he presses a kiss against Jihyun’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

 

“What if there’s something wrong with me? Why can’t I just get over this?” He knows it’s a dumb question, but he also knows that Jumin is smart and he’ll know the answer. He always knows the answer when Jihyun is upset like this.

 

“There is nothing wrong with you.” Jumin is still whispering, and he takes another moment to collect his thoughts. “You’ve come so far, and no one should ever expect you to just get over it. You are not broken and you haven’t done anything you need to apologize for right now.”

 

If Jihyun hadn’t cried himself out, the kind words would make him cry again, but this time, they just make him smile. He doesn’t believe any of it himself, but when Jumin says it, he does. He trusts Jumin, and that scares him, too. It terrifies him, but Jumin is _right there_ helping him calm down and he’s not going anywhere. It’s so much, and all he can do is let out a sincere laugh. “I missed you.”

 

Jumin chuckles, too, and Jihyun's tears finally stop falling, his eyes burning from how hard he cried. “I was only in the shower.”

 

“I know,” Jihyun says, and he turns over, burying his face into Jumin’s chest. “But I love you.”

 

“I love you, too. I’m...I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you were struggling before.”

 

Jihyun knows he means a year ago, when things were _bad_ and mornings like these were his normal. He felt so alone, but he’d never blame Jumin for that. All the crying has taken so much out of him that he can’t find the right words to say it, but he knows Jumin knows, so he just curls himself further into Jumin’s chest. “You’re here now.”

 

“I know, but I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” Jihyun mumbles, and forces the cogs in his brain to work for a second so he can say, “I’d never be mad at you for that.”

 

He can sense the smile on Jumin’s face, who tightens his arm around Jihyun and asks, “Are you tired?”

 

Jumin clearly knows him too well, or maybe Jihyun is just really obvious about how tired he is. Either way, he nods into Jumin’s chest and mumbles, “I’m exhausted.”

 

Jumin reaches a hand up and gently carresses his hair, and Jihyun sighs as he starts to run his fingers through it. All the panicking and crying knocked him out, and this was just pushing him over the edge. “You’re gonna make me fall back asleep.”

 

“That was the goal.” Jihyun can hear the smile in Jumin’s voice, and it just makes his heart melt a little bit more. “Do you want me to stay?”

 

“Please.” His voices is muffled from the way his head is buried into Jumin’s chest, but Jumin just pulls him closer and nods.

 

Maybe Jihyun isn’t okay at all, but Jumin is there, and that means he will be.


End file.
